When You're A Parent, Is It Bad If You Are Happier Single, When Your Relationship Just Isn't

Posted By Owner, Amanda Reid
Jan 27, 2018
3 min read

Being a parent is one thing. But being a parent and maintaining a relationship when you're married is very tough. Quite frankly, it's hard for me to see that being married would make it any easier. But I am not going to comment on marriage, as I do not have experience in that area.

Keith and I have been working towards being one and having a family. Our ultimate goal was that one day we will finally live together, get married and expand our family. With Keith living in another state, it makes our relationship tough in many ways. I take the blame for us being in separate states, but I am not ready to make a huge move. I have a lot on the line and I am very worried about the outcome. I am not the person who likes to make mistakes and with a move like that it's no turning around. With Ky involved I just want to be sure that we have true stability and a solid plan before making moves.

Keith and I recently got into an argument related to respect. It hurts me because I know he knows how to be respectful, he just makes choices, and we all know that choices have consequences. For me, going through the same thing over and over gets exhausting and frustrating. The main thing that I wish he would understand is that (1) I deserve to be treated with respect and (2) I am raising a daughter and whatever I show her that I allow, she will do the same! Leaving out the specifics, I pretty much decided to part ways with him (for now). Even though inside I love him and I want to be with him, I just don't see myself continuously dealing with the same sh** over and over. I want our family and I want to be with Keith but for some odd reason I feel like I am happier and he is happier when we aren't together. And it's not even happier when we aren't together, it's just I feel more at peace when I am not dealing with his negative side. It's just so hard because in my heart I feel madly in love and I feel like i am missing all that is great about him (especially when we aren't talking). It's this idea that I have unhappy times that cause these shadow clouds over my feelings. And I know I reciprocate the same energy. It's just frustrating, when you have a plan and things go south.

As far as him and I are concerned, I badly hope we can work out our differences and imperfections.

So I posed this question on my Twitter account: When You're A Parent, Is It Bad If You Are Happier Single, When Your Relationship Just Isn't Making You Happy?

I received different views and feedback and I just want to lay out my opinion here on my blog. I believe that a happy parent is a healthy parent. If you aren't happy then how are you going to be a exceptional parent to your child? I think at the end of the day, whether you decide to be with your partner or co-parent, you have to be able to provide the best of whatever you decide for your child's sake. This includes not forcing it. I don't believe in compromising your happiness, in order to keep something together that just won't last. I do believe in finding a common ground and working out a way that doesn't have a negative impact on the child. And even bigger, not right now, does not mean never. Circumstances change and things get better. I have that type of faith in what I want.