A Letter To Kyler

Dear Kyler-Rose,

Your mommy is so excited about your arrival. In fact, everyone is excited about your arrival. I can’t wait to see your little face and kiss your baby feet. Our 9-month journey is quickly approaching its end and I am still in shock about becoming a mommy. I mean just think, I am growing an entire human inside of me. A human with her own DNA makeup, personality, soul and spirit. My pregnancy journey so far is so unique. Being pregnant with you has brought matter to my life. So far I would have to say my biggest lesson in growing you inside me is sacrifice. It’s already enough sharing my entire self with someone else, but where it gets even better is knowing that for once, it is and was never about me. You being born has so much more purpose to a bigger picture. I am really just a customize all inclusive hotel, until you’re out to start your very own life purpose. Please understand that this realization wasn’t discovered overnight, and the discoveries are no where near over. Day by day something new happens, I diminish more and more making space for the mother I am becoming. Also understand that this process has been so hard mentally, especially because I had ongoing feelings about me not being enough for you. But through all the talks with God, I became more at peace because I didn’t have to strive or work for anyone through this process, instead I was just required to work with God and allow Him to use my body to grow life as He created inside me. And how cool is it that the little life He picked is your life, Kyler-Rose Manon Lewis?

With less than ten more weeks to go, I just wanted to record this lovely moment with you so I can share it when you are old enough. I want to thank you for my yummy cravings such as chocolate and lots of cheese. I hope you are experiencing exceptional “womb service.” As every time you send a request I am up honoring it. I want to thank you for swimming around and playing tug of war with our umbilical cord. Although at times your movements are uncomfortable, I love seeing them and wondering what part of your body is hitting me. I want to thank you for being happy when you hear your daddy on the phone. It really makes him happy and he works so hard for you. Also, I hope you love your womb tunes. I try to play stimulating baby music but you seem to enjoy my dancehall and reggae tunes so much more. Lastly, I hope you aren’t tired of hearing “Kyler-Rose got STUFFFFFFFF.” That little phrase has been sticking and since you get something new almost everyday it’s just a habit for everyone.

We still have time together and I promise to cherish the remainder of this journey because once you are out, there is no turning back and this is the closest I will have you literally speaking. I know I am going to miss you, miss being pregnant and demand that you stop growing. But instead of worrying about that I am just going to enjoy the exact moment. Until next time, my beautiful daughter.

With So Much Love,

Your Mommy-

Amanda